We talked about it for years. We made pinterest boards about it and mentioned it casually in conversation. We wondered if it would over come. And then it did.
My best friend is engaged! Like lots of women, I’ve known that I would be maid of honor for like the past 6 years. And she will of course be mine if and whenever marriage happens for me (ha!). It’s always an honor when I get asked to be in a friend’s wedding. You know they really like you when this happens.
But seriously … like it means you’re on the ride or die list. And that’s pretty cool.
Being the maid of honor, however, comes with a little more responsibility than a normal bridesmaid. You have to plan and organize stuff. You have to herd cattle … I mean women. You have to handle budgets and make sure everyone is happy. And most importantly, you have to make sure the bride has the best night or weekend ever.
It can be overwhelming for sure. I love to plan. I could spend hours pouring over Airbnb or hotels.com. However I know that not everyone enjoys planning as much as I do. So I thought I would create a list of tips to help you to plan a nice and smooth bachelorette party.
1. Nail down a date early
It’s best to get a solid idea of who the bride would like to attend and then give them 3-4 potential dates. When organizing a group, too many options can often be overwhelming. And it can a a headache for you.
I set up a group chat with the bride plus the girls in the winter. We decided on a weekend and a place. Two of the most important things were nailed down.
2. Get the brides input … and then let her be
I would recommend to ask the bride for a list. What things she wants to do and what things she doesn’t. What is most important to her and what she could take or leave. This will give you the best idea of what to focus on when planning.
Then leave the bride out of it all. She’s supposed to be surprised. Also she has a million things to do for the wedding. She certainly does not need one more thing to plan. If she chose you as maid of honor, she trusts your judgement calls.
3. Get group input … but not too much
Who here is familiar with Survey Monkey? It’s this website where you can create surveys for free! Because I’m me, I thought it would be fun to make one about the bachelorette party!
While only a handful of the 7 girls filled it out, it still gave me an idea of what they were thinking. I could use this plus the brides input to plan the party. However at the same time, I wasn’t asking the girls what I should do for every single detail. With 7 girls, everyone will have their input. At the end of the day, that would just be overwhelming.
What I did instead was book the Airbnb that I could cancel free of charge. I booked it and sent the girls the link. No one had any issues with it. I then went ahead and mapped out the weekend, and sent them the rough itinerary. I totaled up the budget and let everyone know a number. I tried to strike the balance between keeping everyone informed and not being overwhelming.
I cannot stress this one enough. A bachelorette party is expensive. Furthermore, the bride is supposed to pay for nothing. The maid of honor can end up eating some of the costs if things are not budgeted properly. So I cannot say it enough … over-budget.
These are the things the budget covers for a weekend away:
- The accommodations
- Any food or alcohol at the accommodations
- Whatever tour or group activity you all do
- Whatever meals the bride eats and whatever drinks she orders at the bars
- Decorations, the sash, etc.
I made the silly mistake of under-budgeting. Some of the girls in the group were super nice and asked me if we had gone over. So I felt comfortable looking again at our receipts. It ended up being an extra $22.50/girl. It would have just been so much easier if I had added in an extra $20 a girl.
I would advise to total all the costs that need to be split. Then for safe measure, add $25 to that. Any leftover costs can be used to buy everyone a round of drinks or something.
5. Don’t talk about money in front of the bride
When I went back over the budget, I just sent a text out to everyone with what they owed me. This was perfect because the bride didn’t even know a thing. Her party is supposed to be fun and relaxing. You don’t need to involve her in the money!
The other thing I knew was that she would have been like “oh I can pay for xxxx.” No! That’s not how bachelorette parties work.
6. Document all the things
Make her do silly things like touch a guys abs … and then record it.
What has your bachelorette party experience been like? How would you plan a bachelorette party? Do you have any good tips?