Today is my first Mother’s Day without mom. I really have no expectations for Mother’s Day this year. In January, I lost my mom to a six-month battle with a brain aneurysm. It was tough but life went on. I have a job that doesn’t necessarily allow much time for grieving. Furthermore, I’m in a role where I’m serving others every single day. In short, at times it was easy to just brush it aside. I’ve gotten used to responding with “oh, that’s okay” when someone first finds out that she only passed a few months back. In short, this can just be how I am. I find that I think I’m being strong by just pushing along.
Right now, however, I’m in Clearwater Beach, Florida in a beachfront condo with my dad and brother. I’m here until Wednesday and I don’t have to do anything. It feels great. It is just how my mom would want me to spend my first Mother’s Day without her.
Social media may be hard to see today. Everyone will be posting photos of their moms, with their moms and about their plans for the day. To say that I’ll be jealous of everyone who gets to physically be with their mom today is an understatement.
So to anyone who has lost their mom, we’re in this together. As one of my friends told me, take this day and enjoy it for us. Today I’m thinking I’ll do these things:
- Walk on the beach
- Run on the beach
- Swim
- Drink coffee
- Drink a fruity drink
- Talk about how great she is
- Talk about my favorite things about her
- Think about last Mother’s Day
- Miss her
- Cry
- Take photos
- Get a lot of sun
Thanks mom for being awesome. I miss you.
