I cannot believe it. It seems like yesterday that I was moving to Spain with just a duffel bag, a carry-on and a backpack. Two years have gone by so quickly. All I know is that my adventure of living overseas and traveling are just beginning.
In just a week and a few days, I’ll be packing my bags once again and moving up to the La Rioja region. I’ll still be living in Spain, just eight hours away from my beloved Granada. My teaching program gives us a two-year limit for working in the Andalucia region. So I figured this could be a great opportunity to see a new region. I’m not going to lie … the move was hard to stomach at first. I spent all year talking about how I would find a way to stay in Granada. However when I received my placement in my first choice region (I renewed just in case) of La Rioja, I thought “Nina, you’re a travel blogger. Go! You’ll have so much new material at your fingertips!”
So I’m going. I joined the La Rioja Auxiliares Facebook group and have been connecting with my future expat neighbors. Many are in their first year, bright-eyed and at the same time terrified of having to do all the things … apply for a visa, speak Spanish, find a flat, open a bank account … teach in front of children. I wouldn’t call myself an expert by any means. I’ll be new in a new region myself. However I have learned a thing or two in my two years since moving to Spain, and wanted to share them with you all.
12 things I wished I had known before moving to Spain
1. You will be in demand because of how you speak
On paper, we earn 700 euros a month. That number is rough and frankly one that kind of made me nervous. While I’ve never made the big bucks, living on that amount just didn’t seem doable. The secret is that no one *only* earns this much per month. I mean unless they want to.
Before moving to Spain, I had heard that auxiliares teach private classes to make extra money. However I figured that it maybe accounted for an extra 30 per week. I remember asking my friend Daniel (owner of Coffeeshop Spanish and former auxiliar) how people find classes to teach. He told me “you have no idea how much in demand you will be.” To be honest, I didn’t really believe him in the moment.
However two years later, I know exactly what he meant. Both years in Granada I earned an additional 600 euros/month (give or take) in private lessons. Both years I also had to refer families to friends of mine looking to teach classes because my schedule was full. So first years, you will likely find families from the second and third years living in your city who simply don’t have the time to teach them. This allowed me to earn a total of 1,300 euros/month. It allowed me to travel a bit more and also to save.
So many things in Spain happen through word of mouth. Pay attention to your local Facebook group and Whatsapp group (if one exists) the month of September. I found a lot of my classes from people posting about contacts of theirs needing teachers. Then I filled out my schedule with friends of those contacts. Then in my second year, I was the one posting half the time as my schedule filled up even faster. One of my private lesson mothers (shout-out to Elvira!) passed my number to her two neighbors in her urbanization. On Mondays I literally taught three classes right in a row in the same block of houses this way. Amazing.
Everyone is wanting to learn English in Spain and you are gold. You’re a native speaker!
If you are still worried, here are a few websites to check out. You can make a free profile/ad on these two: Tus Clases Particulares and Milanucios. Also this company sets people up with private classes. They’re in 14 different cities across Spain. I worked with them my first year: The Speaking School.
If going to people’s houses isn’t your thing, you’re also quite in demand with online teaching. I also teach online through a company called Verbling. Other people seem to like companies like VIP Kid, Dadaabc and 51Talk. There are many others, these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
Also sidenote: another way I earn extra income is from this thing you’re reading right now … my blog. Read this post if you want in on that life.
2. Summers are brutal. Have a plan.
I learned this the hard way. So some people only do one year in Spain. If that’s where you think you are, this really doesn’t apply to you. Others, like myself, plan to do this for a while. I mean I’m going into year three and don’t really envision myself going home after it ends. So if you want to do this for multiple years, prepare for the summer and prepare well!
I saved up enough money to comfortably move myself to Spain. However I don’t have a huge savings to back myself up. Each month, I pay my rent, buy groceries and travel a little. That life would be super easy to sustain if I made 1,300 euros/month 12 months a year and flew for free Madrid-Chicago. However that’s not my reality.
To really sustain this life, you need a bit more of a plan. Some people save as much as they can before they go so that they can stay in Europe and travel for four months (ah that’s the life). Others find opportunities where they’re not really earning but they have no expenses (Work Away, Wwoof, Aupairing). Others teach online (see above). Others return to their home country to work a job. Others work at English summer camps in Spain or Europe.
The problem is that non EU people don’t have the right to work here. As auxiliares, we are on student visas. So in your home country, you could probably go wait tables all summer. However unless that restaurant wants to hire you under the table, that’s not really an option in Spain.
My first summer, I went home in June and then returned in July to aupair in the Czech Republic for two months. All along, I knew I should have been making more money. However the idea of living in another part of Europe was just so cool. In the end, I was super broke all summer and not really able to enjoy the Czech Republic. This summer, I decided to stay in Spain. I taught most of my private classes through June. In July, I worked for an English summer camp. I’ve spent August blogging and teaching online. While I’m not getting rich, I’m surviving quite well. Last summer I was drowning.
3. You have to be intentional about Spanish friends
We all have this wonderful idea in our heads about a huge group of Spanish friends and total language immersion. Before moving to Spain, we envision a boyfriend named Fabian with a fantastic beard (or maybe the beard thing is just me), we drink sangria at every meal and we can cook a perfect tortilla de patatas. Then six months after moving to Spain, we realize that all of our friends are named Brittany, Ashely and Kevin. We’ve fallen head-first into the expat bubble.
This is 100% normal human behavior. When you’re all new together, it’s easy to make friends with people who speak your native language. Spaniards have a huge reputation for doing this in England as well. As an auxiliar, you will have Facebook groups and whatsapp groups to connect you with the rest. People will plan pub crawls, day trips and brunches. I’m not saying don’t hang out with the other expats. I have many expat friends who I love dearly. However if your goal is to really immerse yourself in the culture, you simply cannot make expats your only friends.
If you want Spanish friends, it’s on you. Most of the time, they won’t fall out of the sky and onto your couch with a wine offering. You’re the new one in their country and they often already have their friend group. I mean, think of yourself in your home country. You have your group. It’s not that you’re closed off to new people, but you’re also not looking for new friends.
However Spaniards are very friendly and open people. They will be open to hanging out with you if you meet them in the right situation. My first line of advice is to find Spaniard roommates. This will have you practicing Spanish daily. Furthermore, your new roommates might invite you out with their friends, which would introduce you to more potential friends. How do you find Spanish rooommates? Make a post in a housing Facebook group (in Granada I used one called ‘Pisos en Granda’) or make a free ad on Milanuncios. Both of these methods brought me Spanish roommates. I simply wrote in Spanish that I was living in Granada and looking to live with Spaniards to practice/learn. People then reached out to me.
Language exchanges were another way I met Spaniards. In Granada, we had a Facebook page and different intercambios in the city almost nightly. Sometimes you go and meet no one cool. Other times you end up meeting people who have a lot of things in common with you. I have developed actual friendships from people who were initially just wanting to practice English.
Another great way to meet people after moving to Spain is through activities. There’s a page I used called Geokeda where you could find different groups based on interests. I somehow got added to this whatsapp group of people who hang out all the time. Meetup is another page to use. Sports can also be a great way to connect with locals. My friend Daniel joined a soccer team with Spanish guys his age and they became his main friend group during his year in Spain. Even though he moved back to the US four years ago or so, he still talks to them and visits them regularly. I’ve also heard people make friends from joining gyms (note to self … join gym in la Rioja).
Related: 5 Tips to Avoid the English Bubble Overseas
4. Dating is the same … and also a tad different
First of all, Tinder is alive and well in Spain. I recommend anyone who is single to download it upon moving to Spain. If anything, the dates count as more Spanish practice. Sidenote: I’m going to speak on dating from the perspective of a heterosexual woman.
In some ways, men are men anywhere in the world. American men and Spanish men more or less want the same thing. Some are looking to settle down and others are just looking to have fun. However one thing that threw me for a loop was how passive I found some guys to be. Generally back home in the United States, if a guy is interested in me, he texts me. If I stop hearing from him, I assume he’s no longer interested. I tried this in Spain and ended up losing out on a few guys who were in fact were interested in me.
I was told on several accounts that either the woman is expected to continue the conversation or it’s expected to be shared between the two parties. If a guy doesn’t sense the woman making the first move a bit, he often backs off. This surprised me as we get this idea of Latin men being forward back in the US. I think they are forward, just in a different way. I literally had a guy who after our first date was like (translated from Spanish) “the way you are, the way you talk to me … I like it all.” And I’m over here like “uh yeah … I had a good time. I thought you were cool.” However this same guy also stopped talking to me because I didn’t text him first. Go figure.
It took me a bit to become accustomed to this. I moved to Spain at 29, so I had a good 10-15 years of American dating under my belt. The US was the only country I dated in. So ladies, if you plan to jump into the Spanish dating pool, just remember to text first a bit if you really like a guy. They won’t find it clingy or annoying. They seem to like when you take the initiative.
5. Balance travel with weekends in
Living in Europe is exciting. Before moving to Spain, I think we all have these ideas of how much we will end up traveling. We envision jetting off to Berlin one weekend and Rome the next. Then we actually move to our placement, and realize both how complicated travel is and how little money we make.
Don’t get me wrong. In my two years of living in Spain, I have added these countries to the list of where I’ve been: Portugal, Andorra, Ireland, Scotland, England, France, Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria, Germany, Belgium and the Netherlands. While there are still many countries I need to see (with Morocco, Croatia and Iceland being at the top of the list), I’ve been fortunate.
When I first moved to Spain, I didn’t have the funds to jet off all the time (thanks to Andalucia and late payments). An auxiliar friend of mine was out of town almost every single weekend. While she was mostly checking off Spanish cities, she got worn out by Christmas. I probably would have been just like her had I had the funds to do so.
A thing I also realized in the spring of my first year was that I moved abroad to immerse myself in Spanish culture. I had made friends with these two Spanish girls who I really liked. We were the same age and had a bunch of things in common. The weekends were the best time for us all to hang out. I found that as I made more Spanish friends, I wanted to stay around more. It was cool to really feel like I was becoming a part of the community.
Everyone has different reasons for moving abroad. If you simply want to jet off every weekend and have the money to do so, go for it! However I think sticking around and really getting to know where you live like a local is such a cool experience. And your bank account will thank you.
6. Self care is essential
Living in a foreign country can be tough. Let me put it this way: I am one of the most extroverted people in the world and I have never needed more alone time than I have while living in Spain. You’re dealing with speaking another language and a different culture. While a lot is similar between Spain and the US on a surface level, below that surface it’s just different. The way Spaniards interact with each other and interact with you is just different and can get some getting used to.
My personality is best described as a highly sensitive extrovert. Something like 30% of extroverts are like this. It makes for the weirdest combination sometimes. You have all these feelings and then express them outwardly. If I’m grumpy or not taking care of myself, it comes out badly. The last thing you want to do is weird out that new Spanish friend.
Moving abroad is a big change. You simply need to take care of yourself. Spend some time alone journaling. Take a walk by yourself. Spain is full of amazing hiking. If you’re in the south, go to a hammam. Most importantly, listen to what you need. If you’re just not feeling a night out with your absolutely wonderful but very loud Spanish friends, it’s totally okay. They might not understand why you’re not out (the Spanish are VERY extroverted), but who cares. It’s your life and in order to best enjoy this experience, you need to do you.
Related: 6 Tips for Self-care Living Overseas
7. The Spanish are direct and also indirect
Before moving to Spain, I had heard that the Spanish are very direct people. “Good,” I thought “because so am I.” I’m kind of a weird breed for an American. I’m honest with my friends and family when something is bothering me. However instead of blowing up, I approach the person calmly. I feel like this is best way to have healthy and open relationships.
So when I heard that the Spanish were direct, I was excited. However I turned out to be wrong. As a Spanish friend recently put it, “were direct about things that don’t matter like asking you where you’re from but indirect when it’s something serious.” So basically, Spaniards avoid conflict like the plague. Or they just lie about it.
I’ve been in many situations where a Spaniard wasn’t being completely honest with me and I knew it. For example, I could tell that a friend of mine was upset with me, but kept saying everything was fine. However when I guessed what it was and called her out on it, she’s like “oh yeah actually I am mad.” Then we proceed to have this long conversation about all these things that she had been bothered by for the past several months. While I’m glad we had the conversation, I would have just appreciated that she was up front with me.
Now to say that every single Spaniard is like this is false. However in my two years here, I’ve been in more than just a handful of situations where the truth wasn’t told or the situation was just evaded. Know this going into friendships, dating relationships and roommate relationships with Spaniards.
8. Buy your groceries on any day but Sunday
Everything closes down on Sundays except for restaurants and a lot of the shops owned by Chinese families. This can be hard to adjust to when moving to Spain. Just be aware of this so you don’t end up with an empty fridge on a Sunday after you went hard the night before. The only thing worse than a hang over is having noting in your house to eat when you finally do have an appetite again.
Oh and everything in Andalucia is closed from 2-5 p.m. for the siesta. This often affected my private classes because I needed to make copies in the last minute. Plan ahead.
Related: 5 US Comforts You’ll Miss in Spain
9. Got placed in a pueblo? Contact your school about a carpool
This is one aimed at people in the auxiliar program. I remember when I got my placement my first year. I woke up at 7 a.m. to see an email from the ministry. I already knew I would be placed in Andalcuia because they emailed me that the week before. So I eagerly open the email hoping for Sevilla or Malaga. I see this town named Arbuniel. So I do what everyone else does … put the town into Google Maps. Here’s what it looked like:
I just remember it being so small. “OH NO!!” I thought. Then I saw that Jaen was the closest big city and it was only 35 minutes by car. Great! So I started looking to see if there was public transportation. There was none that showed up. So I was freaking out as this town looks TINY. I wanted to experience Spain, but I want to be in at least a medium-sized city. So I texted my friend Daniel.
He responds with “just e-mail your school and ask if any teachers carpool. If it’s 35 minutes by car, I’m sure some do and would be glad to take you.” I had never even thought to do that. However there’s an e-mail address listed on our cartas. So I put together an e-mail with the best Spanish I had introducing myself, asking about the position and asking about the carpool. I got a response the next day in both Spanish and English from the bilingual coordinator. She lived in Jaen and said she’d be happy to drive me. Hallelujah.
Then in late August/early September, she informed me that she switched schools but that there are two teachers who will be commuting from Granada. So she asked me if I wanted to live in Granada. Hmmm …. did I want to live here?
Those of you who read my blog, follow me on social media or consider me to be a friend know which one I chose. Granada. I mean, who wouldn’t live here given the fact that Granada is Granada? I WAS OVER THE MOON. Two years after moving to Spain, I still think about how lucky I got that I got to live in Granada for two years!
So that year I worked three days a week and carpooled an hour to school. While the commute sucked, the school was amazing. The town only had 700 people, meaning the school had 60 students and 10 teachers. I genuinely loved every single teacher I worked with. That’s hard to find in any work environment. The kids were also really sweet.
I had a picture of myself and some of the teachers from my first year school at the Christmas lunch, but I cannot seem to find it. Oh well. The teachers added me to their Whatsapp group right away and always made me feel like I was just as much a part of the team as the rest of them. I loved that. While my first year school was in a pueblo, I loved everything about it.
I see people freaking out in the Facebook groups about transportation to their schools. It always surprises me how many people don’t reach out to their schools and instead just try to find something on Google. I know … contacting them in Spanish can be scary. Others might have missed that theres an e-mail address on the carta. Either way, CONTACT YOUR SCHOOL(s). They if anyone can explain to you what the last auxiliar did, tell you about any carpools and might even be able to tell you what bus to take if there is no carpool. Often time your coordinator will be able to speak English. In the Granada area, for example, there’s a network of buses that go to the surrounding pueblos. They don’t come up on GoogleMaps. However they have a website with all the details about stops, routes and schedules. But you probably wouldn’t find out about that if you didn’t contact your school.
The other reason I really stress contacting your school is to start off on the right foot. Spaniards love to build relationships with coworkers, so a nice e-mail introducing yourself could go a long way. It’s just a nice touch.
10. Saying hello is one of the most important things
In Spain, the general definition of being polite is greeting everyone who comes into your vicinity. It’s not that other things aren’t important, this one is just very important. You can learn a lot about a culture by watching what parents teach their children. My private lesson families always scold their kids if they don’t say hello to me the minute I see them. “Nina esta aqui! Saludarle!” is something I’ve heard at least 10-20 times in my two years here.
I generally always say hello to people. However if two people are having a conversation, in my culture it’s generally considered rude to interrupt them. In my second year, I was placed at a larger elementary school (I requested a school in Granada city center) than my pueblo one (probably 300 kids vs. 60). So if I walked by two teachers in the hallway entrenched in a deep conversation, I wouldn’t say anything. Or if I walked into the teachers lounge and there was a meeting happening, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to interrupt. This was wrong.
So about a month or two in, the director of studies told me that some people thought I was cold. After this conversation, I decided I needed to up my hello game. So I would say hello to everyone I passed in every single room 100% of the time. I noticed a positive difference.
So just say hi always. Don’t feel bad about interrupting because it’s not seen as rude here.
11. Your Spanish friends just won’t get it half the time
So as I mentioned above, it can be tough to move to a new country. Culture shock is real. I know many of you are probably thinking culture shock won’t happen to you because you’ve prepared yourself. Or perhaps you’re thinking “how different are Spain and my country?” You will experience it, you just don’t know how you will experience it.
Your Spanish friends, as well-intentioned as they are, just won’t fully understand and might not be the best people to talk to about these sorts of things. First of all, this is their country. So anything you’re struggling to cope with is just normal to them. They’ve never been a foreigner in their own land. Even Spanish friends of mine who have lived abroad haven’t been of that much help. No two countries are the same and you really cannot compare.
A lot of people in general simply cannot handle criticisms of their own country. On top of that, they really don’t like a foreigner criticizing their country. It’s like when a friend of yours makes fun of your mom. You’re like “HEY! ONLY I CAN DO THAT!” I have met a few that can handle it, but most really just don’t want to hear it.
In general, just steer clear of this sort of thing with Spanish friends. This is why you need a few solid expat friends. They will understand what you are going through 100%. So if you’re having a bad day or you had a bad experience, it might be better to call up your expat friends for a beer. However you cannot 100% generalize here … I’m sure some people have found their Spanish friends to be helpful. However I really have not.
12. You will have to answer a lot of the same questions at first
Unless you’re just super talented or your family is Hispanic and you grew up bilingual, you will probably speak Spanish with an accent. Accents are incredibly hard to loose when you learn as an adult. So this will be the first thing to sort of “out” you as a foreigner. Then what follows will be anything from five minutes to an hour or more of questions about where you’re from, what you’re doing in Spain, etc. I remember one of my auxiliar friends in Granada saying that the first hour to hour and a half of a Blablacar is the same for her. That first hour is always about where she’s from, what she’s doing in Spain, if she likes Spain, how Spain is different than the US, etc.
“After that first hour of questions are over, we can have a real conversation.” she said. I remember laughing because I understood completely.
At first, you’re super excited to answer all these questions. However over time, it can just get repetitive and old. Furthermore, I’ve never been a big “USA USA” kind of person. I consider myself very lucky to have been born in the United States. However I’m much more than just my country of origin.
When you live abroad, you feel like you’re identified as your nationality first and everything secondary. Just try to get used to it as much as you can. The upside is that once you really establish a friendship with someone, you can be seen as more than just “Nina the American.” The downiside is that now you are a representation for your country wherever you go. While I knew that beforehand, I didn’t really think about how that would feel day in and day out.
I remember one day at my school this past year, there were some parents meeting with a teacher in the teacher’s lounge. One of them says in Spanish “well if I was living abroad, I’d try to be the best representation of my country as possible.” I had no idea what it was in reference to and I thought about responding. However it was my place of work and I didn’t want to stir any feathers, so I kept silent. It was also the end of the day and I was ready to go home.
However that comment got me thinking. On one hand, it’s a nice idea and one we all strive to do. However on the other hand, it’s completely forgetting that us foreigners are human. We have bad days just like the rest of us. Were not perfect. Furthermore, we’re not on vacation when we move abroad. We live up to some stereotypes and don’t fulfil others. And at the end of the day, it’s so easy to say a something like that when you’ve likely never been the foreigner yourself except for vacation.
This sentiment will be one you encounter upon moving to Spain. The truth is, you are constantly a representation of your country. Just take it with a grain of salt and do you.
A note about Spanish
Some of you might be thinking “she didn’t mention Spanish!” Every year, everyone is worried about it, so I wanted to address it. It’s not on this list because for me personally, Spanish being spoken everywhere wasn’t a shock upon moving to Spain. I was also basically fluent when I arrived due to a past bilingual job. But I do want to note it. Save for Madrid, English is just not widely-spoken in Spain. They’re not yet to the same level as countries like the Netherlands with English. You will be expected to speak it when finding a flat, opening a bank account, etc. Any preparation you can do before going will be helpful.
I recently published a book on Amazon about how I learned Spanish as an adult. I learned at the age of 26. This book is great for those of you who are worried and wondering if you can even learn. I spell out my process and talk about what has worked for me. Check it out here: paperback and kindle. Also if you live in Europe, this book is available on your Amazon. Make sure you buy it from there as it will be cheaper for you!
Another way you can prepare is with online learning! I mentioned above that I teach English on Verbling. You can also learn Spanish (and many other languages) on this platform. All teachers are required to be native-speakers of whatever they teach. It indicates which country they’re from, so you could find a Spaniard teacher on thee if you wanted! I will say though that from my experience, any Spanish practice, whether it’s with people from South America or Spain, will help you! All my old clients at my old job were from South America and I felt super prepared to speak when I arrived in Spain. Click here to check out Verbling for yourself!
Related: 4 Things That Supercharged My Spanish
Get excited for the best year(s) of your life!
Moving to Spain will be so rich and amazing. You’ll meet absolutely wonderful people, learn a new language and share a bit of yourself with a whole new group of people. I know right now you’re probably feeling a million emotions. But just relax because it generally all works out.
What are you most excited about in moving to Spain? What are your biggest concerns? Those of you who have made the move, what did you wish someone told you before moving to Spain? Feel free to comment below and I’ll do my best to respond to everyone! Also you can always send me an e-mail or reach out to me on social media.
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