I met Che about a year ago through her husband Daniel who tutored me in Spanish. The two of them have the most fascinating story. Che grew up in China and decided to get her undergraduate degree in Malaga, Spain. While Daniel got his undergraduate degree in Cincinnati, he studied in Spain for about nine months. Some how the two connected on Facebook and began chatting. Now Che has made her second big move to the United States to marry Daniel. She currently works at a logistics company and is getting settled into her new life in the US. I knew her experience with so many different cultures would make for a very interesting interview.
Jing Che Braun
Age: 26
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio. Grew up in Chongqing, China.
What made you decide to attend college in Spain?
I just felt like I wanted a different life. I don’t know. So after I graduated high school, I said I want to study abroad and I just picked Spain because I wanted to see the world.
What was that like when you first arrived in Spain?
I was so excited because it was a different world for me and I never traveled out of China. So the destination was the South of Spain. I learned a little bit of Spanish before I went to Spain. I prepared a little bit, but it was still so difficult because the first city I got to in Spain was in the South of Spain. Everybody speaks so much faster than the people in the North and they have a strong accent. I just could not understand. I don’t know. But I was still very happy. I didn’t care. I just felt like I’m going to start my new life here. I was excited and happy, and not scared at all. I was just excited.
So were you looking at other countries or was it just Spain?
After I graduated high school, I needed to pick a college in China and I just didn’t feel like I wanted to go to college in China. So one day I was just reading a newspaper, and there was something about Spain and contacting them to get more information. So I took it to my mom and said “How about Spain?” And she said “What?” So we went together to that place and they gave us more information about how this worked. I didn’t really care where I went. I just wanted to go out of China. Japan, USA, Korea, France … but I just saw Spain just accidentally.
So you got there and everyone was speaking fast. What was the hardest part of moving to a new country?
I think the hardest part in the beginning of course is the language. You cannot understand them really well but you really want to talk with them and get involved in that culture. But little by little. The most difficult thing I think is missing your family. Because I’m the only child for my parents, I just missed them, I missed my girlfriends and everything. But when I first got to Spain, I was so excited and I didn’t miss them much. But year after year of living there, because I lived there for five years, I just missed them … Also in Chinese culture, family is so important. Every year I have two months to spend with them. The summer vacation. The winter vacation is very short, so I didn’t go back to China.
So what did you learn from moving to Spain? What did it teach you?
I really think that that five years was the most important. It was very important for me because I’m just a normal Chinese girl looking for a good college and good job. Going to Spain totally changed my life. If I had never been to Spain I would have never met Daniel, I would never speak Spanish and I would never meet so many people from different cultures. It was just so cool. It made me feel special and unique.
That’s cool! What did you learn from the people you met from other cultures?
I think most of them were very friendly. It was really cool to get to know their culture … It is so easy to get in contact with people from other cultures because the city where I was living, Malaga, it’s a really popular place for people to have vacation because the weather is so good. The people … European countries are just so close. My classmates were Spanish or from other European cultures. Everybody was really friendly and normal. Before I was really shy so I just thought the people from other cultures might seem totally different but they are the same. They just look different. Bigger nose, bigger eyes, taller … but they are the same. I don’t know.
How did you meet Daniel?
On Facebook. So I think it was my third year of college and I was cooking in the kitchen. One of my friends was playing with my computer. I had my Facebook up because I would post things sometimes. Daniel and I had added each other a couple of months ago, but I never paid attention to that. Daniel always told me I sent the request. I’m not agreeing but I don’t know. So that day Daniel sent me the first message while I was cooking in the kitchen. My friend, her name is Gloria. She’s a Chinese girl and was playing with my computer. She says “Che you have a message.” I say “What’s the name?” And she said “Daniel.” I was trying to think of all my Facebook friends … Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. I said “I don’t know who it is.” It didn’t matter because I was cooking. She just came over for dinner and a girl chat, so I said I don’t know who it is, so nothing happens.
The next day I checked out all of Daniel’s pictures and think “Oh, this guy is cute!” So I started to get back to him. I don’t remember what I said like “oh hi, how are you? Last night I was cooking.” And so we started to talk every day. We had six hours difference between the US and Spain, so every day I remember I would talk with Daniel around 8 p.m. or 9 p.m. That’s maybe Daniel’s 3, 4 p.m. So every night I would just go to my room to talk with Daniel. I was so excited. We were in love, I don’t know.
So after three or four months was my summer vacation. I told you I had two months. So I lied to my parents and said I could only go back home for one month. I said I had an activity at the college. I needed to go back to Spain. My family is super open and they said “Okay, fine!” So actually I prepared all the documents before I went back to China because I needed a visa. Chinese people, we need a visa. So I got a visa and I flew back to Spain and then to the US. It was my first time coming to the US.
So you came to the US to meet Daniel?
Yes. That day I got here, I had no idea. I had never met Daniel before in real life. Daniel wore a T-shirt sweating with sandals and gave me big hug. I would have passed him because I was not wearing my glasses. Daniel’s roommate had brought bed bugs into their apartment and he was trying to fix that because he knew I was coming. He wanted to prepare the apartment. He still lived in an apartment close to UC. I didn’t care, though. He still looked cute. First I was so nervous. We were talking with each other for a long time. So I met Daniel that day and in that situation.
So were you guys officially a couple then?
After one week Daniel asked me in his room. I remember it very well. He asked me “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Because Daniel’s American, I never had contact with American people that much. So before I came, I did some research on American relationships. So I read that in America, it’s really normal to date with someone. You can date with this girl today and this girl tomorrow. It does not matter because you just date. But if you have a relationship, that’s different. If you have a relationship, you cannot date this other girl. So in the beginning we just dated. After that, Daniel asked me to his girlfriend, I thought I was official. So we became boyfriend and girlfriend after one week, I guess.
But you guys were chatting for a while?
Yeah e-mails. I saved all my e-mails and I think it was like 100 pages in e-mails.
Oh my gosh! And you guys were both communicating in Spanish.
Yes in that moment, all Spanish.
How did that feel? It was your third year, so I guess you could speak Spanish pretty well.
Yeah I was doing very well in Spanish. Daniel in the beginning was a little surprised because I was an exchange student and he was studying in Spain for nine months in the North of Spain. He had maybe a couple Chinese classmates and he always felt that Chinese people were very shy. They don’t speak Spanish in public or speak very well. But he was so surprised that I spoke better than him. He thought I was special … maybe that’s why he was crushing on me.
(laughing) Who knows.
I don’t feel anything because for me talking in Spanish is very normal. I was with Spanish people every day. I went to school, talked with my roommate, with my landlord … everybody. Daniel I think felt a little different because he only spoke Spanish with me in that moment.
When did you know you wanted to marry him?
I think it was very natural for me that we were going to get married because we were so in love. Every time, I’m telling you every time when I left, because I would always come to the US for breaks and holidays, every time I cried and Daniel cried. So I think we were so in love.
Was there a moment though?
I think in the very beginning when I first came to the US and we went to Charleston, that was my best memory.
Charleston, South Carolina?
Yes. Oh, so good! Because Daniel reserved a big room for just us and he opened these big doors and from the balcony you could see the ocean. It was the summer, there was music and downstairs was a swimming pool. I just felt like “oh my gosh! I think I could marry this guy!”
What has it been like moving to the United States?
It’s so different. Sometimes I feel frustrated because I always say I’ve traveled to a lot of different countries a lot. And every country is different … culture, food, weather. They never gave me the same feeling like America gives me. I just feel like the USA is really hard to handle. I don’t know. At times I really miss my family or I feel down. I just miss my family. I met Daniel really late in my time in Spain. But in the beginning I had to do everything by myself, so I didn’t feel like I needed help from someone else. I had to do that because no one was helping me because I was there by myself. But when I moved here I knew my fiance was here. I was not trying to do everything by myself because I knew he was going to help me and that his family was going to help me. So I kind of rely on them. It’s a different feeling. And this country is so different. Like I don’t know … everything. I spoke with someone else and they said “No, America is just like a European country! The people are just different.” I said “No, America is different. It makes me feel different.” I’m trying, really. I’m trying my best to get involved with this country and this culture and make myself feel happy.
Yeah, what has been the hardest part about moving to the US?
I just don’t feel … It’s just hard, the culture. Everything. Everywhere you need to drive. I don’t feel very free or flexible. Everything is great. You can go to the grocery and get everything. But I feel like nobody is walking outside. Just maybe in the morning some are running. It’s just not …
Do you find that the people are friendly?
Yeah! The people are extremely friendly! I don’t feel like people are racist to the foreign people because everybody tells me that this is an immigration country. Everybody’s from a different country before. So everyone treats me very nice. I like that so much. You guys do better than European people, at this point. I think it’s really hard to say which part makes me feel different. It’s just different. I’m still discovering the best way to handle this country.
Well and I think you’re right. In Spain, you would go outside and there are people laughing and dancing. You don’t always have that in the United States.
Yeah! I would go to the center of Malaga, the city I lived in, and it was very easy. I knew all the bus lines. For example, right now I know how to drive to Kenwood but I never feel good about driving to Kenwood by myself. I don’t know why. I know which high way I need to take and I know which exit I need to take, but every time I feel a little scared. I always want Daniel to stay with me. I don’t like that. I hate that. I still need time to be like how I lived in Spain where I could do everything by myself, no problem.
And you’ll probably get there.
I will, I just need more time.
What do you miss most about China?
My family, my girlfriends and the food. The food actually is fine because I can make something similar, but my family and my girlfriends are really the biggest part that I miss about my city. I can go shopping with them, I can do yoga with them, talking and gossip … I miss that.
What surprised you the most about the United States?
I don’t know. For Chinese people, the United States is a very cool culture. We watch a lot because you guys do such a great job with movies and TV series. I just thought like “oh, the people are so cool!” Coming here it really is true! Like you guys have drive-throughs. I know it’s so normal and a tiny thing, but for me at the beginning I said “oh, this is so American!” Or you guys watch football and are so passionate about it. Something so similar to what I would watch on TV. It surprised me.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I can say that I’ll probably be a mom, and a more independent and confident woman.
What was it like growing up in China?
I had a very beautiful childhood because my dad and my mom gave me the greatest freedom. It was very normal. I went to school. In China it’s so modern now and it’s growing so fast, but I just had a very happy life.
Was it just you and your parents?
Yes, because I’m an only child.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions that people have about China here in the US, or Spain too?
Every time people tell me things they think about China, I feel like they are so stupid. They must not watch the news. Because if you go to China, it’s just like the USA, I’m telling you. It’s totally true. And China is not like the North of Korea. Not at all. There are big cities, people are so open. The city and country looks great. Of course we have many farmers, but I lived in the city. The people who live in the city are just like here, I think. It’s really modern.
So people think it’s different when it’s really just like the United States?
Oh people think it’s still just like 15 years ago how the people would never have power to show their opinions. I feel so free and so happy the 20 years I was living in China.
