Women Archives - A World of Dresses

Stella and her love of Lower Price Hill Cincinnati

06/12/2016 18 Comments

Meet Stella, the woman in a dress this week! Stella spends her days in the urban Appalachian community of Lower Price Hill in Cincinnati, Ohio. She works for an organization called Education Matters, which serves provides adult education classes such as English for Speakers of Other Languages, GED and college readiness programs. Her time is split: she works with the college bridge program and she is the event coordinator for the Sanctuary, their event space.

I met Stella through AmeriCorps as some of my fellow members are working with her organization. She herself started working at Education Matters as and AmeriCorps member almost three years ago. When we were initially looking for an event space for The Little Black Dress Party, I reached out to Stella. The Sanctuary is a beautiful space and just what we were looking for. It’s so exciting to be able to partner together and support two really great nonprofits: Education Matters and their sister organization Community Matters.

Last week, I met with Stella in the Sanctuary for a little photo shoot and Q&A. Since she made this all possible, I figured why not feature her on the blog? She wore her favorite little black dress and we took photos in all the wonderful spaces the Sanctuary has. It was an old Catholic church formerly named St. Michael the Archangel. Think stained glass windows, a balcony and the like.

It all started in 1807 when William Price settled in the Mill Creek area. He established a brick yard and a sawing mill. Settlers started moving in and he called his town Prospect. By the turn of the century, it had about 10,000 people living in it. St. Michael’s was founded in 1847. A school was also built. The church was a functioning church all the way into the 1990’s. It’s the second oldest standing Catholic church building in Cincinnati. The building sat vacant for about 10 years before Stella and her co-workers gave it a makeover. It now functions as an event space.

The Q&A

Name: Stella

Location: Cincinnati, Ohio

Occupation: Event Coordinator for the Sanctuary and College Bridge Program at Education Matters

How did Education Matters and Community Matters initially get started?

In the 1980’s, Oyler Elementary down here in the neighborhood had the highest dropout rate in the city. Lower Price Hill is historically urban appalachian. The kids once they reached eighth grade, there wasn’t a high school down here. They had to travel up to Western Hills High School a couple of miles away to continue high school. What happened was kids didn’t want to leave the neighborhood, they didn’t feel comfortable. So they would just drop out and go on about life. So they started an after school program out of the basement of the church first in homes and eventually in the basement of the church to tutor kids, mentor kids and make sure they’re staying in school.

So that happened for like 15-20 years until Oyler became a k-12. So kids were staying in high school, so the needs transitioned from kids education to adult education. So that’s when the GED program started. We had previously had classes for non-native English speakers. It went away for some time and now it’s back. We also have a college program that helps people gain access to college and be successful in college. On top of all these programs, we have other services like a thrift store, a food pantry, etc. So all these services in one hub. It was the focal point of the neighborhood. It was previously called Lower Price Hill Community School and then two years ago we split into being two non-profits: Education Matters and Community Matters.

You started here as an AmeriCorps member and served for two years, right?

Yeah I started here as an Notre Dame Mission Volunteer AmeriCorps member with the college bridge program 2013-2014. I did that for two years. As an AmeriCorps member, you just kind of like go all in. There’s really no way of saying “I did my job. It’s over and I’m going home.” There’s always extra to do, and that’s how I really got involved and got to know people in the community and our staff. I really grew to love this place and started helping out with more than just my job. I’d help with volunteer days, coordinating different people, helping with tours … there’s never just your job in a non-profit. So they wanted to keep me and didn’t know how. They had created this additional event coordinator job for me. I wanted to stay but there was no full-time position available for me. So they created this position to keep me. I would do college bridge part-time and event coordinating part-time.

Did you work with events at all prior to working here?

Not really. I knew I was always very organized and detail-focused, but I never saw myself in a position like this. When they pitched it to me, I was like “that’s perfect!” I love working with people and I love looking at something as a whole and then each piece as well. How to make an event happen and how to make it the best ever.

So what do you see as the future of the Sanctuary as an event space?

So I love thinking about the future of the space because it’s so open. It could meet so many different needs and wants for people. Definitely a wedding space. We want to meet that niche of people that want a beautiful space to get married in but don’t want to break the bank for their wedding. They don’t want to spend $10,000 to get married just because that’s what everyone else does. What’s beautiful is that they are supporting two great non-profits by having their wedding in this space.

We also really want to foster arts in the community. So bringing arts to the people. We partnered with CCM students and our Education Matters students to create a play that they performed to the neighborhood. So any kids of arts whether that be the Bend in the River fest where we bring in local bands to jam out and enjoy some beer, or with Muse Cincinnati Women’s choir who rents space from us. They use our space for practice and have at least one concert a year in the space for the community. Arts is so important for the community. We don’t want to just meet people’s basic needs and think that they’re okay. We want to provide them things that they want and help them lead a holistic life.

What initially drew you to Education Matters and AmeriCorps?

My aunt is a resource coordinator at Oyler. So she talked about how much she loved working in Lower Price Hill. It was tough but she wouldn’t trade it for anything. So hearing her talk about Lower Price Hill for years. Then when I was ready to graduate from college and thought of AmeriCorps. I was on Idealist.org one night at 3 a.m. and this Lower Price Hill one comes up. I’m like “hm, I never thought about helping people with college. I mean I went to college and I survived. I guess I could apply!” It’s been great ever since!

How would you describe Lower Price Hill to someone who didn’t have any experience with it?

(Laughs) I would describe Lower Price Hill as a very tight-knit community. It’s roots are in urban Appalachia. You have these physical barriers that made it feel like home and made it feel like a holler. You have the hill on one side, the river on the other side and the train tracks on the other side. It felt like a holler to some people and that’s where a lot of Appalachians settled over the years. It’s very tight-knit. A lot of people are related and their families grew up together. They’re good people that I think often get a bad rap. A lot of people think Lower Price Hill is dangerous and not a good place to be. I think they have it wrong. A few people in the neighborhood paint a picture for the rest of the neighborhood that isn’t accurate. There’s good people, kind people, funny people and people doing good things. I feel safe walking around Lower Price Hill. People say hi.

And for my classic question I ask all women I feature, what does being a woman mean to you?

When I always think of being a woman, feminism comes to mind. I’m a very stubborn and strong-willed woman. I will never let anyone tell me I can’t do something because I’m a woman. I always prove them wrong, whether I’m in a dress or not, that I’m just as capable as anyone else is. I like to make a point to point out that that is not true and you can’t talk to me or any other woman like that. Being a strong woman sets people back a little, but I will always be like that.

We work with a lot of college students who are single mothers. I really try to instill in them that they can do anything they set their mind to. Sometimes I have that special connection with a student who is a woman because I’m also a woman.

The shoot and the dress

Then we went outside to look at the chickens. They have actual chickens on site!

Thank you Stella for sharing your passions with us! I’m super excited to work together on the 26th!

Also Cincinnatians, have you RSVP’d yet? This event is NOT to be missed! Details here.

Today I’m linking up with:

Sunday

Beauty 101 by Lisa

Monday

Birth of a Fashion Blogger, Sincerely Jenna Marie, More Pieces of Me, Fizz and Frosting, Still Being Molly, Beauty by Miss L, Michelle’s Paige, Not Dressed as Lamb, Mahogany Closet and Not Dead Yet Style

Tuesday

Live Randomly Simple, Sandy a la mode, Two Peas in a Blog, I Do deClaire, The Fashion Canvass, Walking in Memphis in High Heels and Elegantly Dressed & Stylish

Wednesday

Jersey Girl Texan Heart, Shopping My Closet, Pumps and Pushups, The Pleated Poppy, Sydney Fashion Hunter, The Mummy Chronicles, Cappuccino and Fashion, Posh Classy Mom, The Red Closet Diary and Twenties Girl Style

Thursday

Elegance and Mommyhood, Doused in Pink, Curly Crafty Mom

Friday

Two Thirty-Five Designs, Nancy’s Fashion Style, Jeans & a Teacup, Claire Justine, Rachel the Hat, A Poketful of Polka Dots, Forage Fashion, Fashion Should be Fun, Sincerely Paula, Birdie Shoots

Small Business Saturday

Megan and custom dress hangers

11/28/2015 No Comments

It all started with her own wedding several years ago. Megan Knapke was marrying her college sweetheart and was doing all sorts of DIY stuff for decorations and other things. She stumbled upon customized dress hangers, but didn’t have the time to make one for herself. However she liked the idea and kept it with her.

As time went on, other friends of hers got married and she started making hangers as wedding shower gifts. Everyone loved them. The idea is simple and yet so very personal. She simply took a wooden hanger, some wire, a flower and heavy-duty glue, and created something very special. The wire gets fashioned into the bride’s new name such as “Mrs. Jones” and the date of the wedding. This simple touch looks great in photos and gives the bride something special to hang her dress up with post-wedding as well.

This popularity led her to where she is today. She now has her own Etsy store called Hang it Up Hangers and makes about 15-20 customized hangers a month for people all across the country. In addition to making hangers for brides, she also makes smaller hangers for children. While a majority of business is for brides, she will make a hanger for any occasion. For example, she has made a hangers for a graduation, someone’s mom and cheerleading.

For Megan, the best thing is the freedom that comes with running her own business.

“It gives me the ability to do what I want when I want,” she said.

In some ways, Megan admits to being traditional when it comes to a family. She would love to be able to stay home with her future children but would still love to work while doing it. This work-from-home business gives her that freedom and flexibility. She also likes to joke with her husband who majored in entrepreneurship about how she’s the first to start her own business.

Through talking with Megan, it was evident how empowering owning a business is to her. She’s able to have ownership over something in a positive way, which she loves. Over the years, she admits she’s struggled to feel like she’s really good at something. I know this feeling well, and I feel like so many other women do. We are often our own worst critics. These hangers, however, take a great deal of detail work and practice. Not everyone is as crafty or talented as Megan. This business has really helped her to see her own talents and skills as they are.

Looking forward, Megan will be a part of a bridal show in January, something she is excited about. Also, each quarter she sends a portion of her profits to a non-profit doing great work. Last quarter, the portion went to Determined to Develop, an organization in Malawi that a friend of her’s started. She loves the ability she has to give back.

The hangers range from $16-$30 depending on size and whether you have one line of writing or two. Check out her Etsy store here.

My Closet

My Closet: Tea with Una

11/26/2015 No Comments

I love making new friends. This fall, I decided to commit to a year of service through AmeriCorps. One of my favorite things about doing this is meeting other like-minded people. There are roughly 15-18 of us in Cincinnati also doing AmeirCorps with my particular program and Una is one of them. Una graduated college last Spring, so AmeriCorps has provided her with her first post-college job. With grownup life comes grownup responsibilities. For Una, she’s enjoyed her year of service so far.

“It seemed like a good way to transition,” she said. “I knew I wanted to take a year before thinking about thinking about grad school.”

She has been a supporter of A World of Dresses since it’s inception, so I thought I’d feature her this week. We met up at Aquarius Star on Ludlow Ave. in Clifton for some tea, laughter and dresses. It was an amazing way to spend a rainy Saturday.

Through AmeriCorps, Una spends her days as a pre-school classroom aide at Corryville Catholic Elementary. She felt that this dress was fitting for the position considering it has dinosaurs on it. This was a Modcloth find as well. I now want a dinosaur dress.

“I really like working with kids,” said Una about her position. “It’s cool to build their first impressions of school and get them excited about reading.”

Next we have the polka-dot dress, something she found at a second-hand store. The black and white polka dots and flats pairs quite nicely with her grey tights. She originally got this dress for her college graduation. It’s very much associated with that big day, she said.

Every woman needs a little black dress. This is Una’s. This also was a Modcloth find. She joked that she wears this dress when she wants to feel like a grownup. Adulthood is something she admits she’s still attempting to figure out.

“I’m still learning how to dress like a grownup woman would and that’s been interesting to navigate,” she said.

From what I’ve seen, she seems to be rocking it.

So for the last dress, we broke our own rules. In fact, it’s not even a dress. It’s a skirt. However it’s not just any skirt. According to Una, it’s one of her most-worn skirts. Like the polka-dot dress, she also found it at a second-hand store back in high school.

Una, thank you for having tea with me and allowing me to photograph you!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Uncategorized

8 steps to ensure an amazing girl’s night

11/18/2015 No Comments

Last Friday was the culmination of something I’d been looking forward to all week. It was Girls Night! It all started when Rita (My Closet: The Lovely Rita) decided we needed a girls night. She decided our friend Alex, who is a mother of two small children, she needed a night out. And boy, was she right. So the three of us plus Lauren (Lauren the Activist) decided about two weeks ago to have a girls night. I could tell from our group texts the week leading up to the shindig that it would be crazy. And it was.

We had an amazing time that started with drinks/snacks in Rita’s Covington apartment and ended at the Anchor in Covington, with several stops in OTR in between. I’m convinced we entertained all of our uber drivers and shared a few too many crazy stories. Looking back, it really was the perfect girls night. People stereotype groups of women to be caddy and dramatic. I cannot tell you how many women I’ve met that say “Oh I don’t get along with other women.” I think that is such a shame. I have been so blessed by all the women in my life. That’s one of the many reasons I started this blog. So in reflection of last Friday, I’ve decided to list my steps for an amazing girls night.

3-5 women who know each other well. Girls nights are like therapy. Sometimes you just need to vent, so feeling comfortable around everyone is key.
A plan that is editable. You need to choose something fun for the whole group but yet be willing to spontaneously change it. Because you just never know when one of your friends gets into a dance battle, you decide to jump into a swimming pool or dye your friend’s hair. Girls nights were made for spontaneity.
A gathering spot to build excitement. You have to get psyched somewhere. Also getting ready together can be part of the fun.
Shared consumable goods. For us, that was alcohol. I brought a wine called “Little Black Dress” and Alex brought a mango vodka mix called “Kinky.” We also ate hummus, chips and veggies. Whether you drink alcohol or not, people gather around food and drink.
Ladies who are real. We had some really amazing conversations because we all just came as we were that day. There was no need to be anyone else.
Lots of dancing and sometimes singing.
Late night food. Enough said.
Spontaneous sleepovers, if necessary.

It was a night to remember for sure. We will have many more. Also I convinced two of the three ladies to wear a dress with me. Even though Lauren opted for a blazer, she still looked amazing! Here are some favorites from the night:

Stories of women

Lauren the activist

11/02/2015 No Comments

I met Lauren a little over a year ago when we were both hired to do voter empowerment work for Kentuckians for the Commonwealth. Lauren and I are like-minded in so many ways, so we’ve naturally stayed friends since. Lauren is passionate about social justice and puts her energy towards making the world a better place. I’m honored to consider her a friend and am excited to see where life takes her.

Name: Lauren Gabbard
Age: 24
Location: Northern Kentucky
Occupation: AmeriCorps Vista Member at Kentucky Campus Compact

Describe to me where you are in life right now?

Well I just graduated (from Northern Kentucky University) with a degree in political science and economics. It was a really fun time. I got involved in a lot groups like Kentuckians for the Commonwealth (a grassroots social justice organization based in Kentucky), Intercommunity Justice and Peace Center, environmental initiatives and things like that. I really kind of found myself as someone who cares about justice, activism and community organizing.

What are the things that prompted you to seek those organizations out?

So I guess from a young age, I noticed that things that have motivated me in my life have been injustice. When I see a situation that’s not fair or people being oppressed for certain reasons, it gets me really worked up. I’m like “We need to do something about it! That’s not fair! It shouldn’t be happening.” So when I was younger it was more about poverty issues and then as I got older it was more about issues of race, gender, class and sexual orientation. I really like to stand up for people’s rights when they’re being violated. I also focus a lot on international issues of poverty. For now I really want to get involved in activism, community organizing and national issues. Eventually I want to maybe be doing policy research on the international political economy. Like learning about the legacy of colonization and how it forms that global economy today. Or learning about the global food system and different exploitations that are happening for our benefit.

So was there one particular thing that prompted you to look into issues of poverty?

I was motivated when I learned that places were really poor compared to us. Like people don’t have a bed, they don’t have food, things like that. So I was really just motivated when I found out about the rest of the world as a child.

How do you feel like you’ve grown as a person through college and your involvement in activism?

I really went from someone who always felt on the defense on political and social issues, to someone who feels confident and assertive about myself, my identity and standing up for issues. Before it was like if the entire class is against gay people and I’m over here like “I have gay dads and I’m bisexual and my brother’s asexual, you’re hurting my feelings.” I’ve had the whole entire class argue with me many times through high school and a little bit in college. Instead of getting really worked up about that and going home and crying, I now for one don’t feel like it’s my job to educate every person who I come across. There are some people in the world who are always going to be against you. That’s fine. You can’t convince them all. But also I feel like I’ve gained support from people who feel the same way as me and I’ve gained confidence just to be able to talk about these things more. I guess I’ve just really gained confidence to stick up for what I believe in and knowledge to kind of put that in the right outlets. Me getting in arguments in class and getting worked up does nothing, but me going and volunteering with KFTC or IJPC can do a lot. Me directing my career goals to policy research that I hope will help people will also do a lot.

What was it like in those moments in high school? How did it feel when you felt like everyone was against you?

Not good. You don’t have support from your classmates, you don’t have support from the teacher and the debate is framed against you. You being so young and not having all your thoughts or facts in order, you can’t really lay out your argument. It feels awful for instance if you know something is very homophobic but I can’t conceptualize or verbalize why, and then someone is trying to argue around you with semantics. You’re just sitting there like “I know how I feel is right and you’re just making me feel so wrong.”

Honestly I don’t like to dwell on that because I’ve come such a long way from feeling like that. I haven’t felt like that in years and that feels great. It’s such a relief. Now I do have the knowledge to lay out an argument. I’ve read a lot, so I’ve weighed in on a bunch of different opinions on a bunch of different issues. So I’ve learned to communicate different opinions. And I’m able to take in and accept other people’s arguments even if if I don’t agree. I’m able to go “I see what you’re saying, but if you think about it this way, it might frame it differently for you or the both of us.

So you have what some consider a “modern family.” Your parents are split up, and your dad is openly homosexual with a husband. What’s that been like? How old were you when your dad came out and what’s that been like?

I was in the eighth grade when my dad came out of the closet as gay. It was weird because we didn’t know any gay people before that but it wasn’t like we were grossed out or thought it was wrong. We were just like “oh, that’s different.” He started dating Roger and now they’re married. They got married in 2010. So we have our step dad and our dad. So I have my gay dads who live in DC and then we live with our mom since they moved to DC.

And they seem to get along.

Yeah so my parents definitely get along. I think the first few years after the divorce, they didn’t like each other. But they had to keep seeing each other because of us. My parents get along really well now. When my dads come to visit, they stay at my mom’s with us. We’ve even gone on one or two vacations all together as well.

You also identify as bisexual. What was the process of coming to that realization like?

Everything is so heteronormative, for a long time I thought my attraction to women was just aesthetic. I thought women were beautiful and I talked about how I thought they were beautiful all the time. I could feel myself being drawn towards women but I did not realize it was romantic or sexual until I was like 20. And then I was just on Tumblr one day scrolling through and I just stopped on this image of a woman and thought “oh my gosh, I’m attracted to her!” It just felt natural. It just made sense. Like “oh, I’m bisexual. That just feels right.” It wasn’t like some huge revelation or anything like that.

I think too bisexualism is something that is so hard for people to understand. Everything in society is so one or the other gender. So to be someone who is attracted to both, people just don’t get that. People think “oh, are you just this until you come out as gay?” What do you say to that?

I’ve had people say like “can’t you just pick one?” That’s really heteronormative. You have to either be the girl or the guy, or just straight. In the bisexual community, we define it as being attracted to the same gender and at least one other. So there’s more than two genders. A lot of people transcend the gender binary or fall somewhere in between. Really it’s like “no, I don’t have to pick one.” I can be attracted to women and other genders.

So you’ve got a lot of good stuff going on right now. Where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years?

Right so I’m doing an AmeriCorps Vista term right now and that’s been really great so far. Within five years, I’ll probably go back to graduate school, maybe in DC, maybe in Europe … who knows. I could go anywhere in the country. I’m hoping to do a program with the international political economy that really focuses on politics and economics in an international context. I really would like to target exploitation of land, labor and resources. I just feel like our American and Western multi-national corporations have the ability to around the world and set the price. They have the ability to exploit people for resources and labor. I feel like a popular movement of equality is great, but targeting the policies and the rules that they play by is also really essential. I feel like that gets skipped over by a lot of activism.

What does being a woman mean to you?

Being a woman to me shows that I have a support structure for things that were making me uncomfortable throughout my life that I didn’t know about before. For instance, being made fun of for certain things in elementary school or issues of violence. I’ve had some violent experiences in my life at the hands of men and just knowing that were all in this together. Women have not always been oppressed and it means that we don’t always need to be. It’s a good part of my identity. I will hang out with pretty much any woman. You don’t have to be on your guard. But a man, you don’t know if they’re going to say something really sexist or try to hit on you inappropriately.

Being a queer woman or a bisexual woman makes me feel like I belong to this legacy of awesome women throughout history that I can always band together with.

You’re right. Women are incredibly relational, so it makes sense that we all band together.

So, how do you feel when you put on a dress?

Cute (laughs). It makes you feel good, it makes you feel confident. Dressing your best is great. Either your really fashionable and your vilified for that, or you’re really not fashionable and you’re vilified for that. It’s like you can’t win either way as a woman, so you might as well do what makes you feel good. So dressing business casual makes me feel good.

Uncategorized

An evening with Kendra

09/14/2015 1 Comment

Each week, I want to talk with a different woman about all things life and dresses. My friend Kendra agreed to be my guinea pig and go first. She’s brave. This past Friday, we met up for a photo shoot in her three favorite dresses and a chat on everything from California dreaming to losing her father at age 12 to horrible people on Tinder to that time she walked into a wall in middle school. My hope is that through these weekly interviews, dresses can tell much larger stories to the complex lives of women in our world.

Name: Kendra Pressley
Age: 23
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio

So how would you describe where you are in life right now?

It’s a hot mess (laughs). I mean, it’s a genuine hot mess. I’m about to be done with school and that’s kind of a tough place for anyone to be. I’m looking for a big girl job and I’m trying to figure out how to move to California. It’s just transitional.

Tell me about California. Why California?

It’s very sunny there. In Southern California specifically, it’s very sunny. I mean, I mostly want to move there for work because I do want to act and get into acting, and ultimately get into producing film and television shows. But more so right now, because of the weather. I would adore living close to a beach. I keep hearing that people who move to LA don’t really go to the beach because they’re in the city, but I don’t think that would be true for me. I just kind of am ready to be somewhere not Ohio, so the furthest possible place to stay in the United States is California.

So what draws you to acting and producing?

I just watch a copious amount of films and TV series’. I’ll be really addicted to one. For a while I was really addicted to United States of Tara, which only had three seasons but was like a legit show and it should have had more seasons. I’m really into character development and how to build a character, and how to break one down and how to build it up again. That’s kind of very Grey’s Anatomyish. Like they’ll do something to all of them and one of them will be like completely shattered and then the next season it will be like “okay. I’m okay.” And then the next season they’re completely shattered. It just kind of, I think to me, shows how real life happens. I’m looking to make a more authentic way of having art imitate life.

What does being a woman mean to you?

I don’t know, I mean it’s something I’m still trying to figure out. I mean being a woman has its advantages, obviously, but more often than not I feel like I’m trying to surmount so many different things in terms of work. The whole unequal pay thing is insane to me because a woman will make what 60 cents on the dollar that a man is making, maybe 70 cents now. But then a black woman is still making below that, so I’m still trying to gage like my actual worth against other people in terms of trying to find jobs. The next person will do it for less than I would or if they are white or they are like not a very dark-skinned person of color, they’ll get an advantage and so that’s kind of difficult to me. That’s a struggle for me right now.

So you feel like there’s sort of a double disadvantage in being a woman and then being a black woman?

Yeah. It’s this weird paradox. I’m not even sure. There are black men who are usually conservative Christian types and they will place all the value of a woman on her virginity and her pureness, and how she should be this submissive person. It’s like really extreme. So there’s that on the one hand and then you have white men who are fetishizing you in every way possible. I can’t even tell you how many Tinder inboxes I’ve gotten that literally there’s no hello, there’s no introduction, it’s just like, “hey, down to fuck?” It’s insane and my other friends who have Tinder have never experienced something like that. I had a guy last summer ask me how much. Like in my inbox. It was like horrifying and he was some guy who graduated from Ball State. It was just like, “I could easily find you in your real life. You are a terrible person.” But I’m just like why would you match with someone who you essentially just want to humiliate? I felt so disgusted after that experience, and so I mean, it’s just two different ends of the coin. I don’t really know how to navigate it. I just take it a step at a time, a day at a time. Some days are much better than others.

What are things that you like about being a black woman?

Um, I mean I like looking 12. Like my pictures as a kid and pictures as a teenager; not very much has changed. So I like the advantage of knowing that my face now will likely be my face at 40. I like how insanely curly my hair is and just doing different stuff with natural hair care, because I did go natural almost three years ago. Three winters ago I cut off all my hair … well, I did a bob.

What made you decide to go natural?

Oh it was very cosmetic. My hair started thinning in the front and that runs in my family, so I’m trying to keep my hair as thick and as lush for as long as humanly possible. The real decision was when I could see my scalp and I wasn’t parting my hair. That was a true indicator that I needed to give this shit up. It was like no. So it wasn’t terribly hard for me. I mean my hair just kind of evolved as I changed what I was doing. I would do four relaxers a year, so that’s every three months. Many women go every six weeks. They can’t wait that long. I was lucky and I could. I mean I honestly didn’t need them in the first place, but it just helped me achieve that straight hair look that everybody in high school loved. I don’t know what it is about teenage girls and having pin straight hair, but I mean literally every one of my friends, black, white, Asian, whatever, pin straight was the way to go. It’s one of those other things that I don’t think white people quite get because they’re like, “It’s just hair. Why is everyone making a big deal if you put a chemical in it or not?” For me it wasn’t so much that I hated having curly hair because I was black. I just hated having curly hair that I couldn’t manage.

What are you most passionate about?

I think I’m most passionate about just having a good time. Like I think so many different things in life are so difficult and it’s a pity to waste your time on things that don’t make you feel good. So whether that’s people, places, different things you’re able to do, things that money can’t buy, things that money can buy, I think you should always seek a good foundation in happiness. Like I spend a lot of my weekends drinking with my friends but that’s how we socialize and I appreciate that. So right now that’s kind of like my very go with the flow, easy going type of situation. I’m just really passionate about feeling good about the things that I’m doing. I want whatever I’m doing, whether work-related or personal, to have a meaning.

What impact do you want to make on the world in your life?

I just want to leave it a little better than I found it. One of my biggest passions in the world is LGBTQ youth. I have had several really good friends, best friends, who have been treated terribly by people that claim to love them, or perfect strangers too, for simply being who they are. Here in Cincinnati, it’s a very difficult place to find help. There’s no homeless shelters that really offer a helping hand to LBGTQ youth citizens. Many of them are homeless. I mean the homelessness rate for LGBTQ youth is like double than teens that identify as straight. So I kinda want to have an impact with that. I’ve always wanted to open a nonprofit here, when I’ve made enough money, to pull resources. Housing, job opportunities, safe places for them to go and be, etc. I think cincinnati is up and coming, and I think with all the progressive places that come into Cincy, especially like small businesses and the people who are working for the larger corporations like P&G, need to make an effort at least to say “hey, this is a safe place for you to work.” I think along the lines of that is where I want to place more of my passion.

Who are the most important relationships in your life?

I would say my mom and my two sisters. I mean above anyone else, they’re all that I have in terms of family that I really solidly have in my corner all the time. Even when they’re arguing with each other, they’re it. I think it’s been very difficult to maintain those relationships just because of various issues, but it’s worth it. Then outside of that I have several really good friends and then I have a friend group that does not live in Cincinnati.

What has had the greatest impact on you?

There’s two things. There’s my father’s death, which just kind of completely changed my life. I think that happens to more people than we realize. You go from being a solid, stable middle class family to an unstable lower middle class family. That’s exactly what happened to us. We lost my dad’s income, lost our health insurance. All the things that kept us pretty solid were no longer there. So having to kind of grow up really quickly and try to figure out different ways to make this new life work, I think that definitely had a bigger effect on me than I think I’m willing to admit to.

Starting school here at UC I was a completely different person. I think it’s so heinous that I thought I had it all figured out. I thought it would be fine as an adult. I’m fucking horrified that that was where I was mentally. Coming out basically on the other side, it’s very interesting to see. The feelings and frustrations I have with this school as an institution, it’s not just me. I mean I think college changes everyone, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. I think UC has given me footing in terms of having a good moral compass of what’s right and wrong, and has provided me with a decent education. Aside from that socially, I really didn’t gain much. I didn’t really fit into whatever this is. But i appreciate it.

So you were 12 when your dad passed away?

I was 12.

How did you mom end up dealing with it? She probably took it the hardest.

And still 10 years later takes it hard. I just kind of, I don’t know where this sense of I just need to make sure I was responsible for things kind of kicked in, but it did. I think my dad was grooming me to take his place because I was going grocery shopping with him for as long as I could remember. I learned how to budget food and household needs. He taught me how to fill prescriptions and pay bills. Like I knew where to go to pay our phone bill and our Duke bill, and how to fill up a tank of gas. My mother knew none of these things and she was like a 40 something year old woman.

So what was life like growing up in College Hill?

Its tough to describe College Hill. College Hill seems very much like its own little town. They have a neighborhood council, we have parks and we had a grocery store but it moved. Then we had Family Dollar and everyone went to your local family dollar. Everything closes at 9. No matter where you go, College Hill shuts the hell down at 9. So it was very much like growing up in a small town. Everybody knew everybody. My family was everywhere because most of my dad’s family lived in College Hill. It was very idyllic for most of my life. We had a neighborhood store called Charlie’s where the fire station is now. It was like a little pony keg and they used to sell these 25 cent caramel apple suckers that were like one of the best things on earth. They’re kind of hard to find now. They still produce them. And these little 5 cent bubblegums that had strawberry filling on the inside. I can remember I couldn’t even see over the counter but I could go in and be like “I need a quarter pound of like this much meat and this much cheese.” This older couple that worked the stand every day knew our faces and knew my whole family. It was very comfortable and even after my father died, there was still the comfort of being surrounded by like everyone I knew. I walked to church for I don’t know how many years. I walked everywhere or rode my bike. I had a bike for most of my childhood.

What has been your biggest life lesson?

I think my biggest life lesson is that shit happens and you can’t hold onto it for very long. There’s no point in holding grudges or being angry. I mean I’ve had a lot of shitty things happen as a teenager and as an adult, but i don’t think that I’ve allowed most of those things to have any kind of a gravity as to what I’m doing or how I’m feeling or the choices I’m making. I think you just gotta live and let live. Bad things happen, you figure out a way to deal with them and then you move on. That was just my biggest lesson. To not sweat small stuff or hold grudges.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

I was in 7th grade. Unfortunately, when I was in 4th grade, most of the Cincinnati Public schools went to mandatory uniforms. So we had days where you could dress out of uniform and I had these really great jeans. Like my ass looked really solid in these jeans … my 13-year-old ass (laughs). I was walking around the corner and there was this guy I had a crush on. His name was Dorian and he was like the most beautiful guy that I had ever seen up until that point. I was walking around the corner and he and his friend Jonathan, who was equally attractive, were both looking in my direction. I kind of did a half wave and I kept walking, but I didn’t turn the corner completely, so I walked into a wall and passed out. I walked straight into the wall. Like it was not a soft walk into the wall. When I came up it was very embarrassing because the whole lunch room had seen me. They laughed, I mean once they realized I was actually okay.

What were your childhood dreams?

So all through my childhood I wanted to be a Radio City Rockette. I don’t really know why that was. I couldn’t dance and had never taken a dance class. And then I stopped growing in the 6th grade. Like I’m the height now that I was then. There was just no possible way that was going to happen because you have to be at least 5 ft. 7 to get in. So that was a far out idea that I could just go to New York and become a Radio City Rockette.

What do you think our world needs more of?

I think people just need to mind their business. People get very frustrated, whether it’s about gay marriage or the Jews or Muslims. People are just automatically fearful of Muslims because they think they are all just Muslim extremists and terrorists, and that’s just insane. People who think all these really extreme thoughts about things that they don’t know or understand, I think they just need to stop. I think if we could just get a solid moment where we’re like okay, every Muslim is not a terrorist and every black person does not hate white people and you know every cop isn’t bad. If we could get into this space where we stop grouping everyone into an either or category.

Thank you for reading! Know of a lady in a dress with a story to tell? Feel free to e-mail us at aworldofdresses@gmail.com.